[ it's strange - the air between them is tense and stiff, all this awkward, fumbling anxiety ruining what should be an otherwise enjoyable, easy distraction from all the shit in marcus's head, and marcus wasn't sure that anything would break the ice between them, at this point. the depth in billy's voice, though, the roughness in that uh... something about it is just funny, to marcus, who finds himself laughing softly, a sharp smile cutting through the cynical expression he'd been wearing. billy is the kid who runs through life with flailing arms, voice cracking and screaming at the slightest provocation, and there's just something about the disconnect between marcus's image of him and the overtly sexual atmosphere that just... tickles him. ever since billy asked him to come to vegas, marcus has been seeing him in more and more new lights.
but marcus's smile fades, when billy touches his wrist and invites him on the bed, the raw, intimidating energy of what they're doing creeping back into him full force. he's not sure why that feels like more of an intimate invasion of billy's personal space than what he's already done, being down here on his knees, but it still feels like a step he wasn't prepared to take. that doesn't stop him from moving - he carefully rises to his feet and takes a hesitant step forward, then turns and sits down on the edge of the mattress, close enough for his knee to touch billy's. he sweeps his hand back through his hair, chuckles a little awkwardly, and finds himself hitting a bit of a roadblock. he barely managed to find his flow, and now that it's been interrupted, he's not sure what to do next.
marcus drops his head, resting his ear on his shoulder, looking at billy sideways. there's a stretch of silence, marginally more relaxed than any silence that came before it, but still a little tense. marcus looks at billy like he's trying to decide something, and when his eyes drop down to billy's neck, his throat, his chest, he figures he just needs to go for it. that's always how he wins in situations like these, right? he finds a fledgling sign of interest, a small show of need or acceptance, and he chases after it as hard as he can. billy's here for a reason - marcus is the only one holding things up.
no more half-hearting this. no more thinking about stiles, no more second-guessing what he and billy's friendship will look like when this is said and done - marcus is straight, marcus knows he's straight, but he also knows that if he takes billy to his room only to be a clumsy, sloppy lay, if he and billy even fucking get that far, then he's going to damage their relationship more than if he commits to this the way he decided he would when he first offered to jerk billy off. marcus knows he has to move in for the kill. ]
Hey - close your eyes for me.
[ when billy does as he's told - marcus will wait, eyebrows raised and patient, until he does - marcus moves closer, the subtle shift felt through the mattress dipping beneath his weight. marcus sets one hand on billy's thigh, stroking the inner sides of it with the side of his thumb, and without thinking, with his eyes hypocritically still open, he leans in, pressing his lips to the corner of billy's mouth. he moves his hand up billy's thigh, brings it back towards his belt, and when he unthreads the last of it, when he pries open that top button and slowly tugs down his zipper, he only deepens the kiss, keeping billy from talking.
he parts his lips first, pressing the tip of his tongue forward, seeking out billy's, eyes still open as if watching for the slightest reason to believe that billy doesn't want this. it's not out of empathy, exactly, though he of course cares enough about billy to want him to enjoy this, to not want to take from him anything billy doesn't want to be taken - but marcus is prioritizing self-preservation. killing for billy, killing for willy, attacking chico, survivng for saya, it all felt like the right thing to do in the moment, just like this feels like the right way to keep billy tied to him - but if he's wrong, the consequences could be disastrous. no half-measures.
marcus has his fingertips moving down the front of billy's pants when he breaks back from the kiss, clenching his jaw and throwing even more of himself down on the line, here. he has to go in hard, if he wants billy to keep him. he drops his voice to a whisper, blinks for the first time in too long, and hopes for the best. ]
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but marcus's smile fades, when billy touches his wrist and invites him on the bed, the raw, intimidating energy of what they're doing creeping back into him full force. he's not sure why that feels like more of an intimate invasion of billy's personal space than what he's already done, being down here on his knees, but it still feels like a step he wasn't prepared to take. that doesn't stop him from moving - he carefully rises to his feet and takes a hesitant step forward, then turns and sits down on the edge of the mattress, close enough for his knee to touch billy's. he sweeps his hand back through his hair, chuckles a little awkwardly, and finds himself hitting a bit of a roadblock. he barely managed to find his flow, and now that it's been interrupted, he's not sure what to do next.
marcus drops his head, resting his ear on his shoulder, looking at billy sideways. there's a stretch of silence, marginally more relaxed than any silence that came before it, but still a little tense. marcus looks at billy like he's trying to decide something, and when his eyes drop down to billy's neck, his throat, his chest, he figures he just needs to go for it. that's always how he wins in situations like these, right? he finds a fledgling sign of interest, a small show of need or acceptance, and he chases after it as hard as he can. billy's here for a reason - marcus is the only one holding things up.
no more half-hearting this. no more thinking about stiles, no more second-guessing what he and billy's friendship will look like when this is said and done - marcus is straight, marcus knows he's straight, but he also knows that if he takes billy to his room only to be a clumsy, sloppy lay, if he and billy even fucking get that far, then he's going to damage their relationship more than if he commits to this the way he decided he would when he first offered to jerk billy off. marcus knows he has to move in for the kill. ]
Hey - close your eyes for me.
[ when billy does as he's told - marcus will wait, eyebrows raised and patient, until he does - marcus moves closer, the subtle shift felt through the mattress dipping beneath his weight. marcus sets one hand on billy's thigh, stroking the inner sides of it with the side of his thumb, and without thinking, with his eyes hypocritically still open, he leans in, pressing his lips to the corner of billy's mouth. he moves his hand up billy's thigh, brings it back towards his belt, and when he unthreads the last of it, when he pries open that top button and slowly tugs down his zipper, he only deepens the kiss, keeping billy from talking.
he parts his lips first, pressing the tip of his tongue forward, seeking out billy's, eyes still open as if watching for the slightest reason to believe that billy doesn't want this. it's not out of empathy, exactly, though he of course cares enough about billy to want him to enjoy this, to not want to take from him anything billy doesn't want to be taken - but marcus is prioritizing self-preservation. killing for billy, killing for willy, attacking chico, survivng for saya, it all felt like the right thing to do in the moment, just like this feels like the right way to keep billy tied to him - but if he's wrong, the consequences could be disastrous. no half-measures.
marcus has his fingertips moving down the front of billy's pants when he breaks back from the kiss, clenching his jaw and throwing even more of himself down on the line, here. he has to go in hard, if he wants billy to keep him. he drops his voice to a whisper, blinks for the first time in too long, and hopes for the best. ]
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