[ maybe marcus should have stayed where he was down on his knees, billy thinks, and then immediately kind of hates himself for it, because marcus is fine right next to him, too. he doesn't have to know about the weird, unexpected feeling of disappointment that settles somewhere low in billy's stomach when his imagination doesn't bleed over into real life, when marcus doesn't end up in his lap the way he'd hoped.
this is just as acceptable, and probably more appropriate. billy's getting a little carried away in his head about what any of this is going to be, letting his attraction to marcus influence his thoughts more than he knows he should. if he's not careful, this might get really fucking weird, and marcus might - spook, or freak out on him, and the last thing billy wants is to destroy one of the most important relationships he's got over a hand job and some maybe-secret feelings.
marcus pushes his knee against billy's, so billy focuses on that instead, looking at the point where the two of them touch before glancing up at marcus, who's already looking at him, head tilted, ear on his shoulder, eyelashes long. something about the closeness, the quiet between them, makes him relax a little, or - or maybe it's just the weed. whatever it is, though, billy welcomes it, letting it chase away some of his anxiety over ruining this friendship over stupid shit. his fingers itch to touch marcus literally anywhere, but despite being the one to call marcus up onto the bed with him, billy doesn't immediately shift to move his hands, keeping his weight leaned back and braced on them.
close your eyes, marcus says. for me, he says, and that's really nearly all it takes for billy to do what he's told without question. he hesitates though, eyebrows pinching together slightly with confusion and mild curiosity. he murmurs a what? almost under his breath, but marcus just sits there and waits, looking at him expectantly, so billy caves, and he blinks a couple times before shutting his eyes.
he doesn't know what to expect, if he's honest. maybe marcus will get up and leave, though billy doesn't see the point in having him close his eyes first, because he'd just hear marcus trying to leave anyway, and it wouldn't soften the blow. maybe marcus is just nervous, and doesn't feel like he can do anything with billy watching him, maybe he's one of those guys who thinks it's not gay if someone's got their eyes closed, or whatever other bullshit they tell themselves to justify or write off screwing around with another dude. who the fuck knows.
certainly not billy, that's for sure. one second he's trying to figure out what the point of this is, and the next, marcus is kissing him, and for a moment, his mind just goes blank. instinct makes him stiffen up a little, makes him turn his head away just a fraction of an inch before he realizes that's the opposite of what he wants and catches himself, tilts his head back in. it takes him a couple more seconds to register the hand on his thigh, creeping upward, his cock already semi-hard with interest, and when marcus gets his hands on billy's belt again, when he opens his mouth like an invitation, billy thinks, oh, fuck it. there's no going back. he leans in, tilting his head a little for a better angle, a soft, quiet sound catching in his throat, allowing marcus' tongue into his mouth and meeting his with a careful lick of his own.
before billy can move his own hands, marcus pulls back and breaks the kiss, fingers pushing into the front of billy's pants as he whispers some bullshit about if you want to, as if billy hasn't been fantasizing about doing weird shit with his friend for the last ten minutes, if not the last couple months. he opens his eyes, tongue darting out to wet his lips, hands grabbing at marcus' waist. it's an awkward angle with them sitting side by side, with marcus reaching into the front of billy's pants, but billy tries his best to maneuver around it, attempting to coax marcus over into straddling his lap. ]
Jesus, dude. Just come here.
[ as soon as he's got marcus where he wants him, one knee on either side of his thighs, he drops his hands lower, eyes watching his hands as his fingers pull at the front of marcus' pants, fumbling with the button, the zip, his breathing a little quicker than it has been so far up until this point. marcus being in his lap makes him a little taller than billy, so when billy eventually tilts his head back up, his nose bumps against the edge of marcus' jaw, breath hot against the underside of his chin as he murmurs, fingers curling over his waistband, tugging downward a little. ]
no subject
this is just as acceptable, and probably more appropriate. billy's getting a little carried away in his head about what any of this is going to be, letting his attraction to marcus influence his thoughts more than he knows he should. if he's not careful, this might get really fucking weird, and marcus might - spook, or freak out on him, and the last thing billy wants is to destroy one of the most important relationships he's got over a hand job and some maybe-secret feelings.
marcus pushes his knee against billy's, so billy focuses on that instead, looking at the point where the two of them touch before glancing up at marcus, who's already looking at him, head tilted, ear on his shoulder, eyelashes long. something about the closeness, the quiet between them, makes him relax a little, or - or maybe it's just the weed. whatever it is, though, billy welcomes it, letting it chase away some of his anxiety over ruining this friendship over stupid shit. his fingers itch to touch marcus literally anywhere, but despite being the one to call marcus up onto the bed with him, billy doesn't immediately shift to move his hands, keeping his weight leaned back and braced on them.
close your eyes, marcus says. for me, he says, and that's really nearly all it takes for billy to do what he's told without question. he hesitates though, eyebrows pinching together slightly with confusion and mild curiosity. he murmurs a what? almost under his breath, but marcus just sits there and waits, looking at him expectantly, so billy caves, and he blinks a couple times before shutting his eyes.
he doesn't know what to expect, if he's honest. maybe marcus will get up and leave, though billy doesn't see the point in having him close his eyes first, because he'd just hear marcus trying to leave anyway, and it wouldn't soften the blow. maybe marcus is just nervous, and doesn't feel like he can do anything with billy watching him, maybe he's one of those guys who thinks it's not gay if someone's got their eyes closed, or whatever other bullshit they tell themselves to justify or write off screwing around with another dude. who the fuck knows.
certainly not billy, that's for sure. one second he's trying to figure out what the point of this is, and the next, marcus is kissing him, and for a moment, his mind just goes blank. instinct makes him stiffen up a little, makes him turn his head away just a fraction of an inch before he realizes that's the opposite of what he wants and catches himself, tilts his head back in. it takes him a couple more seconds to register the hand on his thigh, creeping upward, his cock already semi-hard with interest, and when marcus gets his hands on billy's belt again, when he opens his mouth like an invitation, billy thinks, oh, fuck it. there's no going back. he leans in, tilting his head a little for a better angle, a soft, quiet sound catching in his throat, allowing marcus' tongue into his mouth and meeting his with a careful lick of his own.
before billy can move his own hands, marcus pulls back and breaks the kiss, fingers pushing into the front of billy's pants as he whispers some bullshit about if you want to, as if billy hasn't been fantasizing about doing weird shit with his friend for the last ten minutes, if not the last couple months. he opens his eyes, tongue darting out to wet his lips, hands grabbing at marcus' waist. it's an awkward angle with them sitting side by side, with marcus reaching into the front of billy's pants, but billy tries his best to maneuver around it, attempting to coax marcus over into straddling his lap. ]
Jesus, dude. Just come here.
[ as soon as he's got marcus where he wants him, one knee on either side of his thighs, he drops his hands lower, eyes watching his hands as his fingers pull at the front of marcus' pants, fumbling with the button, the zip, his breathing a little quicker than it has been so far up until this point. marcus being in his lap makes him a little taller than billy, so when billy eventually tilts his head back up, his nose bumps against the edge of marcus' jaw, breath hot against the underside of his chin as he murmurs, fingers curling over his waistband, tugging downward a little. ]
Lift your ass up for a sec.