[ absolutely not. billy's gonna coast on this burn for at least an hour. marcus can't take SHIT from him. ]
slapping some bleach and some dye in your hair is not art put some respect on people with actual artistic talent like you. i've seen your drawings, dude and you're so fucking smart you talk like you've got the dictionary memorized, you can't tell me you don't think you could write something all it takes is an idea maybe start from a drawing and build up from there
i'd be a shitty dad, dude look at my role model
[ he should say models, but he can't really blame his mom for her lack of parenting when she was being abused and manipulated and neglected the same as he was. it still sucked though, having to watch his mom stand aside and do nothing, too scared to do anything but plead for gene to stop beating the fuck out of him.
guess that's not really much of a problem anymore now, though. ]
shut the fuck up. you're an artist. you have talent. being a condescending, cynical prick with a decently sized vocabulary doesn't make me "smart". it just makes me an asshole who thinks he's better than everyone. i'm basically viktor. shallow, narcissistic piece of shit who clings to a flimsy identity born out of a lack of true sense of self. so.
[ so. yeah. ugh, why did he write that? why did he say that. marcus pushes on. ]
you have geralt, now. he seems cool. as far as role models go, now you've got an older guy in your life who likes swords and fucks werewolves, or whatever it is he and the rest of his hobbit friends do. but. yeah. i can't promise it'll be good, but i'll do whatever you want. what did you have in mind?
viktor couldn't spell narcissistic if he tried, so definitely not like viktor you're none of those things, anyway i mean, maybe you are as like a mask or whatever self-preservation, etc. but you're a fucking good guy you're a great friend and you're loyal to the people who are important to you and you don't take anyone's shit you see through people's bullshit before they even know they're bullshitting marcus, you're like the best person i know so if you don't stop talking shit about yourself i swear i promise i'll throw you into the jizz pond
[ love you, mean it, you fucking asshole. ]
how exactly does liking swords and maybe fucking werewolves equate to anything related to parenting like. those sounds like reasons why someone maybe shouldn't be a parent maybe not the werewolf thing because like whatever gets you off i guess
[ and also because werewolves are fucking cool. billy knows this from experience - that they're cool, not that they're a good fuck, although he can imagine - but that's not really relevant information. ]
i have absolutely nothing in mind i just think it'd be cool if i had like a piece of you on my board, i guess you can do literally whatever you want
[ a good guy. a great friend. loyal, for that matter - he's a piece of shit who would cheat on his girlfriend if she was fucking crying and going through something that was bumming him out. he's the worst motherfucker alive, and billy's praise is making him feel like his veins are being replaced with barbed wire, and he just shuts up and moves on because if he doesn't he's going to go insane with guilt. ]
i'm just saying. he's cool. older than you. someone you trust. someone who is taking care of you. that's a good role model. you can look to him rather than that sewer rat we got rid of.
"a piece of you on my board". man, you like me so much. yeah, i'll do something. maybe we can find some decent paint in one of these activity stations, or whatever. if you're there with me when i do it, i'll feel a lot better about the whole thing.
none of that matters cause i'm not having some boink city baby with anyone
[ none of it matters because there's nothing anyone could really say that would convince him he'd be a good parent. not with all the trauma he's amassed, not without being terrified that he'd fuck a kid up just as bad as his dad did him. god, hopefully teddy turns out alright.
anyway. ]
yeah, and? you've got your journals i keep all the things i want to remember on my board among all the other random stickers and shit but if you can ask me 8 times if i wear underwear so you've got something to whack it to later i can admit that i love you and i want your art on my deck
[ platonically. maybe a little not platonically but that's a can of worms no one needs to open right now. or at any point, probably. ]
you don't get like doodle-fright? i'll be there. might be cool to watch i'll hand you paint when you need it or whatever
okay, whatever. just saying i think you'd be a good dad. you were a good brother. no reason to think you wouldn't be a good dad, too. but you're right. boink city babyless.
[ he wants to get kind of condescending in response to you've got your journals, but whatever, moving on from that, too. ]
for the record, any time i've whacked it to you, i've done it without a string of invasive questions asked under a guise of faux mocking curiosity. i just whack it to you. without fanfare or investigative journalism. and no, i don't get doodle-fright. why would i get doodle-fright? do you get doodle-fright? if anything, i'd feel scared having your board in front of me without you there to tell me if you like or dislike what i'm doing. that lack of safety net could fuck up your absolute favorite possession in the world. couldn't live with myself if i screwed it up. can barely live with myself now, granted, but.
[ okay. pause. billy was mostly just joking, and it's hard to tell without seeing marcus face and hearing his tone whether he's just playing along with the joke or if he's like... seriously jerked off while thinking about billy.
by now it probably shouldn't be weird - they've screwed around a handful of times to the point that it's just like... something they do, something they maybe don't talk about beyond making dumb jokes about it - and it's not weird now, either. it's just - billy doesn't have a clue what it is.
is it wrong if some part of him kinda hopes that maybe marcus isn't kidding around? probably. it's probably wrong to have a crush on your best friend. moving on. ]
why would i get doodle-fright? no one's interested in watching me scribble all over my board anyway i don't think you could screw it up though art is supposed to be like... subjective, right whatever you draw, however you draw it, is how it was meant to be drawn the person who did my screaming hand put the mouth in the wrist it's supposed to be in the palm but you know what no one else has the same tattoo one of a kind and i think that makes it way better
[ if only billy were the kind of guy to ask his friend, who swears that there's bravery in being honest and does his best to be honest in the face of all potential shame and embarrassment, if he's joking about this shit or not. who knows what he might find out. ]
i like watching you scribble all over your board. it was fun. sitting with you at the graveyard and watching you do things like that. tightening the axels, coloring the wheels in with marker. don't think you ever noticed me watching you, though. and the fact that art is subjective is all the more reason why i should be concerned. i could do something that i think you might like, but it's not a science. you could hate it. so. i don't know. just promise me you'll be there for the process.
[ iiif only. it's funny - he can handle being rejected over and over again by someone like petra, but for some reason, the thought of marcus shutting him down (despite there being next to no evidence to support why he might) and rejecting him is just. a lot. he could deal with it, sure, but - it just seems like a better idea to not potentially put himself through that at all.
then again. this new information kind of makes him feel a little less petrified. marcus was watching him all the time, and billy never even noticed? and why would marcus waste so much time watching billy dick around, touching up his board?
... hmm. ]
i didn't know that you should have said something i mean before now i'd have made it less boring
i really don't think you could paint anything that i would hate like, maybe don't put gene's face on it unless i'm good to grind that shit off before it even dries, but i don't know. if it comes from you, i'll like it i'll be there i want to see how you work i only ever get to see the final product, i don't think i've ever seen you in action before
you weren't ever boring, dude. you're my best friend. you wouldn't be my best friend if i thought you were boring. you're basically my brother. except for the handjobs. weird thing to say. sorry.
[ dot dot dot. ]
i'm irritable and quiet when i draw or write or whatever. i'm basically asking you to sit there while i stress out and snap over nothing. sorry for that, too.
how much time did you spend with the dixies while nobody was looking, marcus
[ kidding. billy feels the same way. minus the whole jerking off your brother, thing, and maybe with a little more feelings that he wants to fess up to, but. marcus is his ride or die. ]
don't worry about that, dude i'll set you up with a joint, i got you puff, pass, paint
[ ... ]
not to continue to exploit your talents but i've been thinking about getting some more ink done so if you wanted to draw something up for that too i wouldn't be opposed i'll pay you for both things
that is so much more pressure than drawing on your board. if i fuck up your board, you can just clean it off. if i fuck up a tattoo design and you get it anyway just to be nice, i'll fucking throw myself off a cliff. or, worse, if i fuck up a tattoo design, you get it because you like it, and then find a flaw in the lineart or something that you can't unsee that's just stuck on your body forever - or if you end up hating the tattoo in five years or something that's so fucking much, man.
[ a pause. ]
i mean obviously i'll draw something up for you but it's going to gargle balls.
tattoos can be covered up not that i'm worried about it, but you're stressing way too much if i didn't trust you to do something dope, i wouldn't ask
and anyway you're an expert when it comes to gargling balls, ligma so what do i really have to worry about
don't feel pressured though like if it really stresses you out that much, you don't have to it was just something i thought about so i thought i'd ask but it's totally not a big deal if you'd rather not
i'm not stressing, i'm just being realistic. and attempting to couch your expectations. i don't have your skatepunk aesthetic on brand. i usually just draw sketches of people and shit like that. so.
[ so he kind of wants to draw billy on his board, but maybe that would be garish and obnoxious and fuck with billy's street cred. maybe he'll draw geralt. fuck, whatever, he's got time. ]
i want to do it. i just don't want to disappoint you. sorry for making this a whole thing instead of just diving into this like a normal person.
green and messy that's the beginning and end of my aesthetic if i even have one of those the bar is very low, dude i don't know how to stress enough that it's not even really about the art it's about you? like. whatever you do, that's the point you did it. draw a big fat dick on my board if you want to, i don't care i'm still gonna be like hell yeah, my best friend ligma did that, how fucking cool is that
[ okay. maybe billy doesn't want a fat schlong tattooed somewhere on his body - he might be pretty okay with his sexuality, but he's also not trying to get bashed whenever they figure out how the hell to get back home where people maybe aren't necessarily as chill as they seem to be in duplicity, but. fuck it - if that's what marcus came up with, then a big ol' dick it is. ]
drawing oscar the grouch on your board, then. ... actually, that was a joke, but it could be pretty good. oscar smoking weed. there's a contender for a tattoo. oscar smoking weed and stroking his big fat trash dick.
[ he is extremely pointedly refusing to comment on "ligma". that's happened twice, now. marcus should show restraint, rather than play his cards by immediately going for the kill, but he has exactly one trap card he knows how to use in response, and he's going to have to fucking play it. he'll give it a couple of seconds, but. it's coming. ]
i want piercings. i'd like to get my ears done. studs. rings. shit like that. maybe my brow, too. tattoos are so permanent, though... i like the concept, but you know me. i'm indecisive. noncommittal, sometimes. i don't know if i could. but i would like to. a more polished, refined version of me would get one.
not gonna lie, i don't hate it not sure how you'd get his dick in it considering it's probably massive not sure there's enough room for all that
you should get something done when camp's over hell, i think there's some kind of body decorating thing going on maybe if you get scheduled for that, turn up and get it done for free maybe get an infection for free too, but you get what you pay for?
if you wait, though i'll go with you, get something done too we can go to that one place in the down i do think you'd look sick with a brow piercing
you don't need to come with me when i get a piercing. i mean, i wouldn't say no, but. i'm not going to make you waste an entire afternoon on watching me get jabbed through the forehead with a needle.
that doesn't sound like an invitation or like you want it just sounds like you'd deal with a bj if you had to
[ he doesn't know why he's tiptoeing around this - it's not the first time he and billy have talked about... things of this nature. marcus just still hasn't fully grasped that whole brave honesty thing. ]
not sure i want you flirting with someone while they're jabbing hot metal spikes into my face assuming she's the one doing it and assuming you even have the guts to say something to her
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
slapping some bleach and some dye in your hair is not art
put some respect on people with actual artistic talent
like you. i've seen your drawings, dude
and you're so fucking smart
you talk like you've got the dictionary memorized, you can't tell me you don't think you could write something
all it takes is an idea
maybe start from a drawing and build up from there
i'd be a shitty dad, dude
look at my role model
[ he should say models, but he can't really blame his mom for her lack of parenting when she was being abused and manipulated and neglected the same as he was. it still sucked though, having to watch his mom stand aside and do nothing, too scared to do anything but plead for gene to stop beating the fuck out of him.
guess that's not really much of a problem anymore now, though. ]
hey
will you draw something on my board
no subject
you're an artist. you have talent.
being a condescending, cynical prick with a decently sized vocabulary doesn't make me "smart". it just makes me an asshole who thinks he's better than everyone.
i'm basically viktor.
shallow, narcissistic piece of shit who clings to a flimsy identity born out of a lack of true sense of self.
so.
[ so. yeah. ugh, why did he write that? why did he say that. marcus pushes on. ]
you have geralt, now. he seems cool.
as far as role models go, now you've got an older guy in your life who likes swords and fucks werewolves, or whatever it is he and the rest of his hobbit friends do.
but.
yeah.
i can't promise it'll be good, but i'll do whatever you want.
what did you have in mind?
no subject
definitely not like viktor
you're none of those things, anyway
i mean, maybe you are as like
a mask or whatever
self-preservation, etc.
but you're a fucking good guy
you're a great friend and you're loyal to the people who are important to you and you don't take anyone's shit
you see through people's bullshit before they even know they're bullshitting
marcus, you're like
the best person i know
so if you don't stop talking shit about yourself i swear
i promise
i'll throw you into the jizz pond
[ love you, mean it, you fucking asshole. ]
how exactly does liking swords and maybe fucking werewolves equate to anything related to parenting
like. those sounds like reasons why someone maybe shouldn't be a parent
maybe not the werewolf thing because like
whatever gets you off i guess
[ and also because werewolves are fucking cool. billy knows this from experience - that they're cool, not that they're a good fuck, although he can imagine - but that's not really relevant information. ]
i have absolutely nothing in mind
i just think it'd be cool if i had like
a piece of you on my board, i guess
you can do literally whatever you want
no subject
[ a good guy. a great friend. loyal, for that matter - he's a piece of shit who would cheat on his girlfriend if she was fucking crying and going through something that was bumming him out. he's the worst motherfucker alive, and billy's praise is making him feel like his veins are being replaced with barbed wire, and he just shuts up and moves on because if he doesn't he's going to go insane with guilt. ]
i'm just saying.
he's cool. older than you. someone you trust. someone who is taking care of you.
that's a good role model.
you can look to him rather than that sewer rat we got rid of.
"a piece of you on my board". man, you like me so much.
yeah, i'll do something.
maybe we can find some decent paint in one of these activity stations, or whatever.
if you're there with me when i do it, i'll feel a lot better about the whole thing.
no subject
[ none of it matters because there's nothing anyone could really say that would convince him he'd be a good parent. not with all the trauma he's amassed, not without being terrified that he'd fuck a kid up just as bad as his dad did him. god, hopefully teddy turns out alright.
anyway. ]
yeah, and?
you've got your journals
i keep all the things i want to remember on my board
among all the other random stickers and shit but
if you can ask me 8 times if i wear underwear so you've got something to whack it to later
i can admit that i love you and i want your art on my deck
[ platonically. maybe a little not platonically but that's a can of worms no one needs to open right now. or at any point, probably. ]
you don't get like
doodle-fright?
i'll be there. might be cool to watch
i'll hand you paint when you need it or whatever
no subject
just saying i think you'd be a good dad. you were a good brother. no reason to think you wouldn't be a good dad, too.
but you're right.
boink city babyless.
[ he wants to get kind of condescending in response to you've got your journals, but whatever, moving on from that, too. ]
for the record, any time i've whacked it to you, i've done it without a string of invasive questions asked under a guise of faux mocking curiosity.
i just whack it to you. without fanfare or investigative journalism.
and no, i don't get doodle-fright. why would i get doodle-fright? do you get doodle-fright?
if anything, i'd feel scared having your board in front of me without you there to tell me if you like or dislike what i'm doing.
that lack of safety net could fuck up your absolute favorite possession in the world.
couldn't live with myself if i screwed it up.
can barely live with myself now, granted, but.
no subject
by now it probably shouldn't be weird - they've screwed around a handful of times to the point that it's just like... something they do, something they maybe don't talk about beyond making dumb jokes about it - and it's not weird now, either. it's just - billy doesn't have a clue what it is.
is it wrong if some part of him kinda hopes that maybe marcus isn't kidding around? probably. it's probably wrong to have a crush on your best friend. moving on. ]
why would i get doodle-fright?
no one's interested in watching me scribble all over my board anyway
i don't think you could screw it up though
art is supposed to be like... subjective, right
whatever you draw, however you draw it, is how it was meant to be drawn
the person who did my screaming hand put the mouth in the wrist
it's supposed to be in the palm but you know what
no one else has the same tattoo
one of a kind and i think that makes it way better
no subject
i like watching you scribble all over your board.
it was fun. sitting with you at the graveyard and watching you do things like that.
tightening the axels, coloring the wheels in with marker.
don't think you ever noticed me watching you, though.
and the fact that art is subjective is all the more reason why i should be concerned.
i could do something that i think you might like, but it's not a science. you could hate it.
so.
i don't know.
just promise me you'll be there for the process.
no subject
then again. this new information kind of makes him feel a little less petrified. marcus was watching him all the time, and billy never even noticed? and why would marcus waste so much time watching billy dick around, touching up his board?
... hmm. ]
i didn't know that
you should have said something
i mean before now
i'd have made it less boring
i really don't think you could paint anything that i would hate
like, maybe don't put gene's face on it unless i'm good to grind that shit off before it even dries, but
i don't know. if it comes from you, i'll like it
i'll be there
i want to see how you work
i only ever get to see the final product, i don't think i've ever seen you in action before
no subject
you're my best friend.
you wouldn't be my best friend if i thought you were boring.
you're basically my brother.
except for the handjobs.
weird thing to say.
sorry.
[ dot dot dot. ]
i'm irritable and quiet when i draw or write or whatever.
i'm basically asking you to sit there while i stress out and snap over nothing.
sorry for that, too.
no subject
[ kidding. billy feels the same way. minus the whole jerking off your brother, thing, and maybe with a little more feelings that he wants to fess up to, but. marcus is his ride or die. ]
don't worry about that, dude
i'll set you up with a joint, i got you
puff, pass, paint
[ ... ]
not to continue to exploit your talents
but i've been thinking about getting some more ink done
so if you wanted to draw something up for that too
i wouldn't be opposed
i'll pay you
for both things
no subject
that is so much more pressure than drawing on your board.
if i fuck up your board, you can just clean it off.
if i fuck up a tattoo design and you get it anyway just to be nice, i'll fucking throw myself off a cliff.
or, worse, if i fuck up a tattoo design, you get it because you like it, and then find a flaw in the lineart or something that you can't unsee that's just stuck on your body forever -
or if you end up hating the tattoo in five years or something
that's so fucking much, man.
[ a pause. ]
i mean obviously i'll draw something up for you
but it's going to gargle balls.
no subject
not that i'm worried about it, but you're stressing way too much
if i didn't trust you to do something dope, i wouldn't ask
and anyway
you're an expert when it comes to gargling balls, ligma
so what do i really have to worry about
don't feel pressured though
like if it really stresses you out that much, you don't have to
it was just something i thought about so i thought i'd ask but it's totally not a big deal if you'd rather not
no subject
i don't have your skatepunk aesthetic on brand.
i usually just draw sketches of people and shit like that.
so.
[ so he kind of wants to draw billy on his board, but maybe that would be garish and obnoxious and fuck with billy's street cred. maybe he'll draw geralt. fuck, whatever, he's got time. ]
i want to do it.
i just don't want to disappoint you.
sorry for making this a whole thing instead of just diving into this like a normal person.
no subject
that's the beginning and end of my aesthetic
if i even have one of those
the bar is very low, dude
i don't know how to stress enough that it's not even really about the art
it's about you? like. whatever you do, that's the point
you did it. draw a big fat dick on my board if you want to, i don't care
i'm still gonna be like
hell yeah, my best friend ligma did that, how fucking cool is that
[ okay. maybe billy doesn't want a fat schlong tattooed somewhere on his body - he might be pretty okay with his sexuality, but he's also not trying to get bashed whenever they figure out how the hell to get back home where people maybe aren't necessarily as chill as they seem to be in duplicity, but. fuck it - if that's what marcus came up with, then a big ol' dick it is. ]
would you ever get a tattoo?
piercing?
no subject
... actually, that was a joke, but it could be pretty good.
oscar smoking weed. there's a contender for a tattoo.
oscar smoking weed and stroking his big fat trash dick.
[ he is extremely pointedly refusing to comment on "ligma". that's happened twice, now. marcus should show restraint, rather than play his cards by immediately going for the kill, but he has exactly one trap card he knows how to use in response, and he's going to have to fucking play it. he'll give it a couple of seconds, but. it's coming. ]
i want piercings. i'd like to get my ears done.
studs. rings. shit like that. maybe my brow, too.
tattoos are so permanent, though... i like the concept, but you know me.
i'm indecisive. noncommittal, sometimes.
i don't know if i could.
but i would like to.
a more polished, refined version of me would get one.
oh, that reminds me.
did you hear about deez?
no subject
not sure how you'd get his dick in it considering it's probably massive
not sure there's enough room for all that
you should get something done when camp's over
hell, i think there's some kind of body decorating thing going on
maybe if you get scheduled for that, turn up and get it done for free
maybe get an infection for free too, but
you get what you pay for?
if you wait, though
i'll go with you, get something done too
we can go to that one place in the down
i do think you'd look sick with a brow piercing
no subject
[ don't ignore him. ]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ but anyway. ]
you don't need to come with me when i get a piercing.
i mean, i wouldn't say no, but.
i'm not going to make you waste an entire afternoon on watching me get jabbed through the forehead with a needle.
no subject
wouldn't say no to getting this one a day thing out of the way early
[ a n y w a y ]
oh yeah because my afternoons are so busy these days
i'm not gonna pass up an opportunity to watch you squirm
[ does billy really think marcus would have any issue getting a piercing? absolutely not, but it's fun to rag on your friends sometimes. ]
and the hot lady who owns the place might be there too, so
no subject
or like you want it
just sounds like you'd deal with a bj if you had to
[ he doesn't know why he's tiptoeing around this - it's not the first time he and billy have talked about... things of this nature. marcus just still hasn't fully grasped that whole brave honesty thing. ]
not sure i want you flirting with someone while they're jabbing hot metal spikes into my face
assuming she's the one doing it
and assuming you even have the guts to say something to her
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)